E36 - The Color of Racism: Healing from Internalized Oppression
October 7, 2025
Did you know a single childhood moment can shape how we see ourselves for years? Picture yourself at ten years old, pressured to reveal your crush, only to be humiliated when classmates say you could never date her because your children would be “half black and half white.” How does racism follow a child into adulthood, and what does true healing look like decades later?
In this solo episode of The Everlutionary Podcast, host Hawah Kasat takes you behind the curtain of his own story. He shares the moment, as a ten-year-old kid, when a classroom betrayal left him standing alone and questioning whether he belonged. He brings you to the soccer fields of suburban New Jersey, where racist slurs became part of the soundtrack of childhood. And he opens up about the day he shouted at his mother never to speak Hindi to him again, trading language and culture for the false promise of acceptance.
But this isn’t just a story of wounds. Hawah also recalls an encounter years later with a former bully, this time not hurling insults, but offering an apology that cracked open the possibility of healing.
Through raw storytelling, Hawah invites us to see how internalized racism shapes identity, how reconciliation can emerge in unexpected places, and why belonging is a form of liberation that we all deserve. Let’s dive in!
Did you know a single childhood moment can shape how we see ourselves for years? Picture yourself at ten years old, pressured to reveal your crush, only to be humiliated when classmates say you could never date her because your children would be “half black and half white.” How does racism follow a child into adulthood, and what does true healing look like decades later?
In this solo episode of The Everlutionary Podcast, host Hawah Kasat takes you behind the curtain of his own story. He shares the moment, as a ten-year-old kid, when a classroom betrayal left him standing alone and questioning whether he belonged. He brings you to the soccer fields of suburban New Jersey, where racist slurs became part of the soundtrack of childhood. And he opens up about the day he shouted at his mother never to speak Hindi to him again, trading language and culture for the false promise of acceptance.
But this isn’t just a story of wounds. Hawah also recalls an encounter years later with a former bully, this time not hurling insults, but offering an apology that cracked open the possibility of healing.
Through raw storytelling, Hawah invites us to see how internalized racism shapes identity, how reconciliation can emerge in unexpected places, and why belonging is a form of liberation that we all deserve. Let’s dive in!
What We Explore:
- The hidden ways childhood racism can quietly shape who we believe we are
- How shame and silence turn into internalized racism and how to break free from it
- Why being told “you don’t belong” as a kid can echo for decades
- What it feels like to silence your own language and how to reclaim it years later
- The powerful lesson one unexpected apology taught about forgiveness and reconciliation
- Why healing racism isn’t just for people of color, it’s work that liberates all of us
- The surprising ways personal stories can turn pain into connection and repair
In This Episode:
(00:00) Introduction and series context
(02:18) Defining internalized racism and oppression
(03:36) First experience of racial difference – Fourth grade
(06:02) Betrayal and public shaming
(10:45) Internalizing shame and difference
(12:56) Internalized racism and its effects
(14:12) Racism in soccer – Sixth grade
(18:37) Assimilation and language loss
(22:56) Long-term impact and reclaiming heritage
(24:18) Neighborhood diversity and bullying
(27:30) Years of racial bullying
(28:28) A surprising apology and hope
(33:44) Reflections on healing and reconciliation
(39:01) Call to action and closing
Social Links for Hawah Kasat:
- Linktree - https://linktr.ee/everlutionary
- Website - https://hawahkasat.com/
- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/everlutionary
- Substack - https://everlutionary.substack.com
- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@everlutionary
- Everlutionary Merch: https://everlutionary.creator-spring.com/
Previous guests include: Edgar Villanueva, author of "Decolonizing Wealth"; Kute Blackson, national bestselling author of "The Magic of Surrender"; Kerry Docherty, co-founder of the "Faherty Brand"; Prince Haru, the recognized leader of the Kuntanawa Nation; and Noor Tagouri, award-winning journalist and storyteller.
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